The Learned

A completely normal feeling. In every way.  When my kids fight, I get them to kiss each other, hug and apologize. They get back to playing most of the time. If they don't apologize 'properly', they have to do it again until I am satisfied that it was kind and sincere-ish. I also realize that they fight more when lunch or dinner is late. So I set the timer to stop for a fruit break in between like at 3.15pm. Having only one kid help at a time is more realistic. One person helps for breakfast, a different person for dinner and a different person for a different chore. The rest has to do something else that may or may not be in the same room. A different room is better. Laundry room is out of bounds for toddlers.. just about everything is out of bounds. Including toys. It will just be a huge mess if they help themselves to craft or toys without you around to watch what they do or remind them to clean up when they're done. No mess made = no mess to clean up. So eyes on them...

So you've already done your baking and cards. Now for a handmade voucher to a handmade massage session and a handmade entrance ticket to watch a homemade concert by your favourite little artists. If no time, just a ticket to watch a couple of Got Talent auditions. Don't forget the Golden Button.

When my dad was 19, God spoke to him audibly for half an hour while showing him visions of him ministering to crowds of people all over the world and told him that He will use him to reach out to the nations. He said I knew you since you were in your mother's womb and called you as a prophet to the nations. Later he read this in Jeremiah. He was a new believer at that time and didn't know many verses. He came from a non-Christian background in a village in Malaysia and was not yet exposed to all these. But he cried the whole time God was speaking to him. Jesus also appeared to my mom twice. The first time was when she was pregnant with her first. And the second time when all her 5 kids were sleeping and she was praying in the prayer room. She saw her body still praying and Jesus invited her to walk with Him through the door and around the house where He told her about all the church workers' future and who would be leaving and then took her to the kids while they were sleep...

It's an hour and a half drive to the city 🏙️ at least once a week, spend a couple of hours driving around and then back. Electronics is the start of war for us. Bring it along and it's like bringing a weapon. Get rid of it and have them pack their own bags of books and toys and drawing materials, and food. Yes, we eat in the car because it's the only way to save time... Also I use that time to read to them and ask questions to make sure they're listening.  It's worlds apart: electronics is war, crying and shouting from everyone including parents. No electronics means laughing and giggling coming from the back.

If your kids randomly hate everything just because they're teenagering, try spending one to one time with her during the week and make it a purposeful date/appointment because they are of age for that now. Older kids need one on one time. Younger kids need that too but especially if they're older. Certain things we say or did not say or do hurt people and we will never know until we try everything. Maybe check if you've said something or not done something they expected you to do as a mom.

First off, try joining some unschooling co-ops to give yourself a pet on the back. Kids are kids. We can't expect them to be studious and take full responsibility of their studies even though they are responsible. They don't have the determination even if they understood the seriousness and are 100% in agreement with how important study is. Their brain just hasn't developed to reason and will not fully develop until they are about 35 especially if their boys but that's just the science behind it. Cut them some slack for the simple fact they are kids. But what we can do is to work with what we have. Try gearing more towards game schooling or fun schooling for now because given the situation, we need to get used to working with kids. This does not necessarily mean electronics. You could even join forest schooling Facebook groups. Study should be its own inspiration and reward.

Our generation struggle for significance by abandoning any hope we have for it; Our legacy, the one thing we leave to destruction. For hope is abandoned, our legacy destroyed. And what is hope but their future, Our legacy, our children; Leave them to chance, we say. Chance holds no mercy, it pays no gain. It is ever the same, again and again. Like waves rolling, and as the sea billows roll, So let the waves beat, and see where it takes us, said no seaman, ever.

1. What we really tell the poor: Earn money.  But I will not give you a job. Make money. But don't try selling anything to me. Btw, I'm decluttering.. and have tons of stuff for you. But.. you should really stop hogging. We just started a charity organization giving food to those who need it. But the only thing they want are handouts. 2. What we tell Christian parents Send your kids to school. But make sure they don't turn out like the rest of the kids there. Don't homeschool your kids. They need to be like the rest of the kids in school. 3. What we tell pastors Preach the gospel to everyone But don't talk about Jesus Stop asking for money. But you're not allowed to have other sources of income 4. What we tell the government We need cheap and affordable housing But we don't want lower class neighbours

Not a crazy question at all, and I am glad you reached out because it is so so important that you have assurance of salvation. It seems to me that what is lacking here is an intimate relationship with the Lord because if you are constantly in a two-way communication, there will be no room for this sort of fear or anxiety because He calls you by name and you hear His voice everyday in your devotion and prayers. Do you hear His voice? If not, find time to read the Bible and ask Him questions or share your heart before reading so that when He replies you on the same topic, you know He is speaking and you are hearing correctly. The Holy Spirit speaks all the time -- we just need to listen. Worshipping God is like the water you drink, prayer like the air you breathe and the Word like food you eat.  We pray without ceasing -- prayer is talking to God. We talk to Him about anything and everything from the moment we wake up till the moment we lay our heads and even throughout the night. Pr...

Once they know how to read, they get a full NKJV kid bible. I go for the Precious Moments heirloom edition because that's the one my siblings and I received. A good book will be one that draws them closer to God. I recommend my favourite fiction of all time: Children of the Voice 1,2,3 by Ian Smale I've been giving out a Bible based Advent calendar which I made. It goes through Matt 1 and Luke 1-2 with devotionals and activities till Christmas. It's like Elf on the Shelf but letters from mom. Free. As usual.. here's my Facebook page: Free Devotional Advent Calendar printables: There are two versions to download (printable and original): https://facebook.com/groups/kingdomheirsgroup/ Biblical Advent Calendar with Activities and Devotionals following the Real Christmas Story with verses. Fun for the whole family.

Drawers are a must or everything will land on the floor quicker. Secondly, when it comes to young kids and boys, do the fixed folding method. I don't know what it's called but my nephew sort of invented this way of folding like for travelling where clothes cannot be undone easily but super easy to fold into. You can hit a person with it and it wouldn't come undone. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxDf5ulA2oad558JkQX5wh5oIA411kiBN&si=yiYCBShNWyANTyS0 Ranger Folding Playlist I asked my nephew about it. He sent me this link. It's not as good as my nephew's improvised version but should do the trick

If your state still mandates studies in difficult times like this, here are a few options: Khan Academy will help with Math.  As for science, get them to focus on a project like inventing something together. Hopefully something that will help their sibling or family cope with the situation. At this stage, they can just focus on brainstorming and research.  For language arts, have them write ✍🏻 a life story about what is going on right now and how they feel. Try to encourage descriptive words and metaphors. They can also read books that relates to this situation. One of the books I would recommend is Good Morning, Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. There is a story at the beginning about being in a hospital. It's on Google as a free PDF. History - read books on when certain chemotherapy and other inventions were made and how certain people in the past fought cancer and lived.

Christmas is about giving and that's what my kids look forward to. They give each other presents and our budget is way less than $50 per kid.  For family members, I shop at Salvation army or equivalent. So I buy presents for all the kids and adults including grandma and grandpa. Sometimes I grab a bargain at other places like Kmart or the post office or online.  Each kid wants to give to each adult. There are 3 kids and 4 adults including grandparents, so each person gets to give 6 gifts. Multiply that by all the kids. I like to give them separate from my hubby as well, so that just adds up... That's a lot of gifts...  This year, I plan to do it the other way around -- instead of youngest open presents first, it's youngest gives the presents first. So she gets to give to everyone in the family and watch them open the presents she gave them (and wrapped to the best of her ability). I also have pillowcases in case she doesn't do a good job wrapping and gives up. So the pi...

 Think you should talk to your church pastors that there's not enough room to nurse in the nursery. Something is not right. They need to rethink the nursery room space. It is a good problem but they need to know about it. Public Nursing may be convenient but may not be helping our men who are struggling with the issue of lust. We don't want to be a stumbling block in church. Especially when they're not strangers, but people you know. My opinion anyway. Unless you have ninja skills like half the moms do... Personally, I don't use nursing clothes... I find that rather inconvenient.. I just pull my shirt up... I guess that's why I prefer a room.

My husband is a changed man now. He still nags every now and then but I let it in one ear, out the other and out the window. The truth is that men nag more than women. It's not just your husband. Don't feel unlucky in any way. You did not get married to a rotten apple. Men are men. He is now much happier and tries his very best to be nice to the kids. He blows up at them every now and then but is no longer a monster the whole day. He is trying to talk nicely to them and even started 'teasing' with them a little which is really the best he can do. But they seem to like it. He has finally signed himself up for a course after not working for a year and a half, and not knowing what to do with his life. Now he actually has a plan to take up welding so he can work for a certain company. He takes the kids to a megachurch nearby but without me -- I refuse to go because I am actually pastoring in my parents church I grew up in, albeit online -- it's been hard for my kids to ...

Hungry people are angry people. That’s why it’s so important to make it a point to have fruit time an hour before meals for two reasons: one, to keep anger at bay, and secondly, for enzymes.  It’s quite obvious who is at fault. And mama bear being mama bear would definitely defend the kids and put dad in his place. Been there, done that. It’s only natural.  But what is the right thing to do as a mom and wife? Lashing back will only ruin what’s left of that marriage. If the dad complies, calling the dad out privately is the best answer there is. Try to calmly explain the situation to him and encourage him to apologize for his bad behavior. If he doesn’t comply, just keep quiet or even remind your kids of the importance of speeding up when daddy gives an instruction…… and teach them to communicate better— that should acknowledge that she has heard him and are working on obeying and request extra time if necessary. Then, when daddy is not around, remind them again that they are l...

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper not a homemaker. If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness not godliness. If I scream at my children when they don’t follow instructions, get frustrated and fault them for every mess in our house, and have no grace and love my children learn that Mom cares more about having things done exactly her way than about listening to the needs and hearts of her children. Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh. Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window. Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk. Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys. Love accepts the fact that I am the ever-present “mommy,” the taxi-driver to every childhood event, the counselor when my children fail or are hurt. Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, and runs with the chil...

 Our church we now join online because it is the church I grew up in and the church I am still serving in as a pastor but we have moved overseas. I still preach every weekend and worship lead. My parents are the founders and often go back several times a year. It is complicated indeed. A year ago, I fell in love with a local church. It was difficult for my kids to cope with an online church so they liked the idea of attending a church on site. My hubby and I served playing the piano there for a year just to “help out” but eventually, was called in weekly. It started to seem like we were regulars when that was not my intention, even though I loved that church deeply. I prayed about it and soon left it. I believe it was not a coincidence that it just so happened to be exactly a year since we stepped into that church. Maybe God allowed us to serve there for a year just to teach me something about ministry. My husband now takes the kids to a nearby mega church or the Salvation Army on ...

YouTube money can be just from ads for content or by selling a product. I strongly advise you to pray about what products or what video content to create because it is a ministry and not just about money. Marketplace is a ministry and we are ministers of God and we minister to God in the marketplace.  What is your calling? You only have one life to live. Time is life. Don't just go where the money is because time can buy money but money can't buy time and time is life. Don't spend your life on money.. money is a servant, which Jesus says to use to buy relationships. We can earn money but by doing what He calls -- seeking His kingdom means focusing your life on your calling and all these wealth will be added unto you. I'm sure you know all that but sometimes we get carried away and start thinking what to promote to get the money in and what is in demand and then we start to get distracted and before we know it, a couple of decades of our lives are gone making worthless v...

Someone brought up an interesting concept of Halloween that I am still pondering on.. Her post: "The Night of Halloween" 'Twas the night of Halloween And all through the town All the Christians were hiding  There were none to be found Their porch lights were off Their doors tightly locked And they simply ignored it If a child came and knocked They claimed to be standing  Against evil that night Yet their decision to hide Had caused Satan no fright It was more like a gift  That they let him run free Instead of shining out Jesus For the whole world to see The children still came home With bags full of treats  Yet none could have said  That his soul had been reached For on that night that was darkest The light hid away Allowing old Satan  To have his own way And as I end this I wonder What would Jesus have done? When confronted with darkness  Would he too have run? Don't dare to believe it My Christ would not fear For when Satan came calling  He woul...

Is your husband wanting you to make all the decisions? First, think about him, not you. That’s love, right? Not about your rights as a woman and spouse, but why he is doing what he is doing. Men are made differently. If you read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, you’ll have a better understanding — that in their minds, it’s all about “Do I have what it takes to be a man?” But when that man does not have confidence in himself, he would push all decision making on to you. My husband is just the same. Why he doesn’t have confidence is probably the result of how he was brought up as a child - violence at home, abusive father, etc. So, now knowing the reason behind it, there are a few things to do as a wife: 1. Make the decisions and take the blame for everything. Your husband has given this job to you because he doesn’t want to take the blame. The truth is, no matter what decision you make, he will complain and point the finger at you. And if you choose not to make the decision, he will be u...

Your husband may sound like a terrible person. That’s because he chooses to be. He doesn’t need to always be that way.  Sometimes it helps to suck it up and pretend like you’re a single mom already. I highly discourage you to go head on with him on this — like demand he man up. There’s no way getting love that way. That’s doomed to fail. I hope you’ve not done that before.  There’s a difference between fighting for your rights and fighting for your marriage because you can’t have both. If it’s rights you want, it’s rights you get and you lose your marriage. But if it’s marriage you want, it’s rights you loose but down the road, there is possibility for love and rights. Most women these days choose rights and lose everything. They’ll go to court for it. And they’ll win. But they leave empty hearted with a broken family.  It may take years to come around but it will help if you pretend you’re already a single mom on one end and try your best to love on the other hand — may ...

 Read John 14 everyday. This chapter changed my life. Are you on any sort of caffeine: coffee, tea, coke? I get anxiety attacks with coffee and tea.

A teen is not a kid anymore. Then again, boys mature about 3 years slower, so just take that into account.  When faced with lazy teens, we need to find out the root issue — is it a spirit of laziness? It has to be addressed. He needs to know that it is a spirit and not him. And that he has to fight it. And what happens when spirits like that are not warded off. And how they can ultimately possess a person when entertained and given into. If it’s not laziness, it is a lack of motivation. What do they really have in mind that is really bothering them or they are inspired about and work on that.

 I’m an intro too.. I started with a Facebook page for those interested. Perhaps get their input — what would they like to cover during the fellowship - what really helps? Most important thing is to talk to God — need the rhema word of God for the kairos time you are in. You need to know what God is saying to each individual.  Don’t meet up for the sake of meeting up but really just fulfil the desires of His heart for the people and being an introvert helps you to log out from the conversation at hand and tune in to what God is saying at that point of time. Try to be sensitive to Him. Too many people pleasers out there. The hunger for the spirit is real. Give them real, give them God.

1. Jesus was baptized  2. Jesus’ disciples baptized 3. Jesus commissioned us to baptize 4. Ephesians 4:22 talks about putting off the old man.  This means leaving your past behind and you are not that person. Your dead body is buried and you are now alive because of Christ in you. So the devil cannot point his finger at you and condemn you for your past sins because that person is dead, and you are not that person. You are a new creation. If Christ is in you, Hebrews 6:4-6 says we cannot crucify again the son of God.  2 Peter 2: For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. 21 For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. 22 But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: “A dog re...

1 MONTH BEFORE: Those that shipped their furniture here regretted it — old furniture that have no value here, wanted to have a fresh start but having so many old items, in the end, they end up giving everything away that they shipped here to buy new stuff. One even shipped a piano here, and gave it away for free to buy a new one. Leave something behind for the people you love and you will miss. Especially family. Because when that time comes to say goodbye, you will want to give them the world. Take it as a fresh start - a home you can redo from scratch, a new beginning for your family, a new life. Appliances have different adapters, so keep that in mind too.. don’t bring electronics with Malaysian adapters Getting Rid of Stuff (In Malaysia): If there are stuff that nobody wants and you can’t get rid of, there is Salvation Army in Malaysia that will sometimes even come to your house to pick it up furniture for you. I did that before in Malacca. They took everything we needed to get rid...

Too expensive? This is the perfect opportunity to teach them about money, and how it works. This is the time to introduce business to your kids so they understand the meaning of profit. They have to learn how to earn money rather than working for money. Empower them by equipping them with the know how to self sufficiency. Teach them to plant things with monetary value and sell them; teach them to bake cookies; teach them to buy and sell items, etc. and they can use that to buy their snacks. Snacks are not out of the budget and not too expensive, they just didn’t earn the money for that yet, which they can freely do. They also need to know how to choose wisely once they do have money.

Having toddlers and younger in a service is relatively easy if you have 5 different things for him: - are you allowed food or drinks inside? My daughter loves munching on cornflakes  - if you have space, you can even roll out a small play mat with roads for his imagination to run - usually a bunch of stationary and blank paper or coloring paper is a good start, followed by sticker books, after that, move on to the toys when he is bored  - a basket of toys but don’t take them all out at once. Take them out one by one. Give the next toy when he is getting restless. Start with the most boring one and then the better toys last. Hide them all. - last resort is electronics. If all else fails, he can see photos or muted videos of himself during the week.

Brittany Parker, Children and Youth Ministry Coordinator, and Homeschooling mother of a large family, Blue Earth, Minnesota:  I had a dream recently that really put a new perspective on my children’s struggles.  I was reminded of how God addresses people in the Bible. He calls them what He sees they will become.  He called Moses to do what Moses was not.  He called Saul when he was as opposite a potential to be used by God as could possibly be.  He told a shepherd boy he would be king.  God is always proclaiming the impossible to the very person who it would seem impossible to. Yet He proclaims the victory that He sees forthcoming in their lives as though it weren’t up for debate. He knows who He called them to be and He believes they will step up to the calling.  My son struggles with anger and honesty. When I woke from this dream a clear image of him was in my mind. Terrified for his future if he should stay on his path I was constantly trying to imp...

 Just like reading, writing is a joy. But when we see it as work, they will see it as work. I write stories in my free time and my kids love reading them. I incorporate history into my stories or science fiction. Also, a lot of Christian values. When children see how enjoyable writing is, they will fall in love with it. I do not teach my kids spelling. It’s a killjoy. My daughter just loves reading and writing and I do correct her spelling and teach her to mark her own papers. She does the marking while I tell her what went wrong with it. She just did a Year 4 government exam and scored the highest band. She only had one wrong over 29 questions.  I don’t teach grammar or spelling. As an English teacher myself, I only learn what verbs and nouns were when I had to teach them in class. No kidding. As for math, my daughter did 2 workbooks and still struggle with it. She scored Band 2. I need a better approach to math. Meanwhile, she is in love with algebra. And only turning 10 end...

 Falling asleep without intending to? What you really need is sleep, not a caffeine. Please get some sleep. I don’t drink anything - no strong drinks, no coffee, no soda. I just try to nap before 10pm. Two hours of sleep after 12am is equivalent to 1 hour of sleep before 12am. So try to sleep early and wake up early, and you will be more rested.

 When we look to humans to meet our emotional needs, humans ALWAYS fail. But God NEVER fails. Everyday, when you wake up, talk to Him and don’t stop till you sleep. Even in the middle of the night, when you wake up, talk to Him. The Holy Spirit speaks all the time— it’s a matter of whether we are listening. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Read His Word day and night. Ask God to speak to you through His Word. Ask Him for a Book, Chapter number and Verse Number, then open to it. Whoever and however you serve, serve not unto man but as unto the Lord.  Col 3 [23] And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; [24] Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. As for your kids, praise. Even if they don’t do anything but show up looking pretty, praise them ...

 I think sometimes, it is easy to give in to pressure and be apologetic for something you do not need to apologize for. When people categorize you as someone who is less dominant, even the non-dominant tend to be dominant just because you’re a rabbit. (I don’t have a better term for it.) You’re meek, humble and obliging? You please people? Don’t be apologetic for something God has commanded you to do — be fruitful and multiply. Go ahead and offend them if it has to do with the truth or God’s first instruction to humankind and to you. In Bible times, women used to bribe (Rachel and Leah) in order to have more kids. Not having kids are a curse. Over the years, women who do not have kids or are single or those who did not want to offend them tried to cover their shame by shaming those who are blessed with lots of children, so the tides have changed, culture has changed and the blessed are the cursed.

Just be careful not to turn Christianity into a religion. Testimonies are powerful. Share your own experiences with Jesus — not just the old ones but the more recent experiences with Him so your kids know He is real and watching. Also, family altar is crucial. And most of all your personal devotion, prayer and worship time with the Lord. Make sure they see you do these things. Bedtime stories are testimony sharing times, too. Make long bedtime prayers until they fall asleep but in your prayers, always mentioning about relationship with Him and talk to Him like a friend.

You can pray for them and win them over with the Love of Christ, or you can let go and move on.  It is always worth fighting for a family member. It is a relationship worth saving. There are ways to deal with a narcissist. Take nothing personally, but love, love, love. And yes, you can do it. Because you have Jesus. Others don’t. It won’t take long before you see changes. At the end of the day, if nothing works, at least you tried.  Moving away physically does not protect you. It still plays in your mind and has allowed you to be hurt. What will heal you is to heal that hurting narcissist. And if words did the damage, then it’s words that will heal the hurt. Say something nice to the narcissist and keep on at it. Don’t ruin your future just because of someone else’s hurt.  Even after winning a narcissist over, there are relapses and you have to win them over again but it gets better over time. Just don’t give up.

Forgiveness is acknowledging what they have done but not holding a grudge; instead, it is choosing love over hate. And choosing grace over condemnation. Unforgiveness is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others; to ‘do justice’ without actually doing justice. It is name calling and shaming in the name of a grudge. It does not give power or voice to anyone but the devil — the Spirit of Unforgiveness. The outcome is eternal death. “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Mark 11:25-26 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. #ForgivetheFathers

 If you are worried about expenditure, you are right. Especially if you don’t have any form of investments at the moment. I would invest your savings until it grows bigger. It’s an issue of whether to eat the seed or to plant it. Even if you bought something of value for $350 and sold it for $450, you are making some profit. Consider your investment options - shares, crypto or just plain old fashioned investing like in a lemonade stand or investing in your kid’s businesses. If your family is dependent on a sole income, without any passive income or even fixed deposits in the bank (which should be the last investment resort based on the parable of the talents), then you will remain in a never ending cycle of poverty. But once you have some form of investment, no matter how small, it is a seed and will grow so that you can be financially independent — not dependent on a sole income — and then to be fully reliant on investments and live to serve the Lord and spend time your kids. I do...

 Teenagers need to learn that no matter how busy life gets, chores need to be done. If they can’t cope as teens, they won’t cope when they have their own kids and have to juggle between work and home. I suggest give them chores like any single adult would need to do if they are living out. Any chore would do, but especially laundry, floor and kitchen. These are basics. I suggest each has a mixture of 3 different type of chores, not one person just doing laundry alone, so they have a more balanced chore chart to get used to real life. Making own bed, tidying own desk and room, and doing own dishes and own laundry needs to be done without telling. Those aren’t counted. It’s like brushing teeth. Just a routine, not a duty. Nobody else should be doing any of these for them no matter who is on duty.

 It is possible to be in a marriage and not in a relationship.