Failing motherhood?

 Completely normal. In every way. 

When my kids fight, I get them to kiss each other, hug and apologize. They get back to playing most of the time. If they don't apologize 'properly', they have to do it again until I am satisfied that it was kind and sincere-ish.

I also realize that they fight more when lunch or dinner is late. So I set the timer to stop for a fruit break in between like at 3.15pm.

Having only one kid help at a time is more realistic. One person helps for breakfast, a different person for dinner and a different person for a different chore. The rest has to do something else that may or may not be in the same room. A different room is better.

Laundry room is out of bounds for toddlers.. just about everything is out of bounds. Including toys. It will just be a huge mess if they help themselves to craft or toys without you around to watch what they do or remind them to clean up when they're done. No mess made = no mess to clean up. So eyes on them all the time to avoid mess. Only older kids get sent to another room.

Usually the same person quarrels with everyone and refuses to help out. This one needs extra love, a ton of cuddles, presents, and reassurances. Use all 5 love languages. Happens to also be the most cunning of all and capable. So give this one lots of praise and encouragement. And entrust with bigger stuff.. like more big sister big brother stuff.. like taking care of the littles, taking them potty, changing them, etc.

Also, chores are NOT your responsibility. They are EVERYONE'S responsibility. Your job is to supervise and delegate and to raise children who are responsible. Whatever methods necessary. Some people use star charts, point system, with snacks or games, even money. Do whatever works for your family and suits your belief system. But at the end of the day, the kids need to be responsible and reliable adults.

Grandparents and Parent DIY Gifts

So you've already done your baking and cards.

Now for a handmade voucher to a handmade massage session and a handmade entrance ticket to watch a homemade concert by your favourite little artists. If no time, just a ticket to watch a couple of Got Talent auditions. Don't forget the Golden Button.

Yes, God can speak audibly

 When my dad was 19, God spoke to him audibly for half an hour while showing him visions of him ministering to crowds of people all over the world and told him that He will use him to reach out to the nations. He said I knew you since you were in your mother's womb and called you as a prophet to the nations. Later he read this in Jeremiah. He was a new believer at that time and didn't know many verses. He came from a non-Christian background in a village in Malaysia and was not yet exposed to all these. But he cried the whole time God was speaking to Him.

Jesus also appeared to my mom twice. The first time was when she was pregnant with her first. And the second time when all her 5 kids were sleeping and she was praying in the prayer room. She saw her body still praying and Jesus invited her to walk with Him through the door and around the house where He told her about all the church workers future and who would be leaving and then took her to the kids while they were sleeping and told her about each one. Then he took her back to the room walking right through the door again. All that he said came to pass.

When I was 6, I heard a voice speaking to me. I believe it was an angel. But when I was 17, I heard a loud voice speaking to me when I was in my parents' room. I think that was God. But they didn't hear anything.

God speaks to me all the time. Without Him telling us what to preach, we don't even have a right to be on stage. 

Why did God create Adam? Why did God create humans? To worship Him? No. He has the angels to do that. He doesn't need more worship. He created us because He wanted sons. So He created us in His image. Our purpose in life is to have a relationship with God. We cannot have a relationship with someone we cannot communicate with. We cannot call Him our lover if we don't have a relationship with Him or hear Him.

If you or anyone else wants to hear from God, I am here to help. There's nothing more important in life.

Electronic War

It's an hour and a half drive to the city 🏙️ at least once a week, spend a couple of hours driving around and then back.

Electronics is the start of war for us. Bring it along and it's like bringing a weapon. Get rid of it and have them pack their own bags of books and toys and drawing materials, and food. Yes, we eat in the car because it's the only way to save time...

Also I use that time to read to them and ask questions to make sure they're listening. 

It's worlds apart: electronics is war, crying and shouting from everyone including parents. No electronics means laughing and giggling coming from the back.

Random haters

If your kids randomly hate everything just because they're teenagering, try spending one to one time with her during the week and make it a purposeful date/appointment because they are of age for that now. Older kids need one on one time. Younger kids need that too but especially if they're older.

Certain things we say or did not say or do hurt people and we will never know until we try everything. Maybe check if you've said something or not done something they expected you to do as a mom.

Independent homeschoolers

First off, try joining some unschooling co-ops to give yourself a pet on the back. Kids are kids. We can't expect them to be studious and take full responsibility of their studies even though they are responsible. They don't have the determination even if they understood the seriousness and are 100% in agreement with how important study is. Their brain just hasn't developed to reason and will not fully develop until they are about 35 especially if their boys but that's just the science behind it. Cut them some slack for the simple fact they are kids.

But what we can do is to work with what we have. Try gearing more towards game schooling or fun schooling for now because given the situation, we need to get used to working with kids. This does not necessarily mean electronics. You could even join forest schooling Facebook groups.

Study should be its own inspiration and reward.

No Chance

Our generation struggle for significance by abandoning any hope we have for it; Our legacy, the one thing we leave to destruction.

For hope is abandoned,

our legacy destroyed.

And what is hope but their future,

Our legacy, our children;

Leave them to chance,

we say.

Chance holds no mercy,

it pays no gain.

It is ever the same,

again and again.

Like waves rolling,

and as the sea billows roll,

So let the waves beat,

and see where it takes us,

said no seaman,

ever.

The Marginalized

1. What we really tell the poor:

Earn money. 
But I will not give you a job.

Make money.
But don't try selling anything to me.

Btw, I'm decluttering.. and have tons of stuff for you.
...You should really stop hogging.

We just started a charity organization giving food to those who need it.
But the only thing they want are handouts.

2. What we tell Christian parents

Send your kids to school.
But make sure they don't turn out like the rest of the kids there.

Don't homeschool your kids.
They need to be like the rest of the kids in school.

3. What we tell pastors

Preach the gospel to everyone
But don't talk about Jesus

Stop asking for money.
But you're not allowed to have other sources of income

4. What we tell the government

We need cheap and affordable housing
But we don't want lower class neighbours