Gender

 Gender Awareness/Consciousness

Gender Awareness comes about when a child is about 3 years of age. Before this, the child is knows what gender he or she is and can tell the difference but will not really be bothered until this age, when he starts to ask more questions and show curiosity, and making conclusions based on gender differences. He might also start to insist on his own gender and not wanting to relate with certain items that may not reflect his own gender. At this stage, it is very important for parents to provide Gender Assurances to the child because he will be looking for it. Our reaction is very important – how seriously we take a Gender Offence.

Gender Offences

Gender Offences are non-acceptable gender-crossing behaviour. For example, a boy is not allowed to go into the ladies' room. This is a serious Gender Offence and should be given a serious disapproval or it may result in Gender Confusion.

Gender Confusion

Gender Confusion happens when a child is uncertain, undecided about her gender, wrongly concluded or wrongly decided on it. This happens when insufficient or inappropriate approval or disapproval has been given.

Gender Assurances

Gender Assurances are approvals and disapprovals given by an adult, whether through his words or actions or reactions in relation to a child's gender, beauty or confidence in himself. Gender Assurances to a girl, for example, comes from a father's words, praising his daughter by telling her that she is beautiful; and a father affirming his son that he has what it takes to complete a task, thus building his confidence and musculinity which is much needed in a man. It can also be given when a father buys clothes for his children accordingly. Try not to make the mistake of buying or passing down the same clothes for both son and daughter, especially those with the obvious gender differences, i.e. khaki pants, board shorts, or pink clothes. The more obvious a difference in clothes selection given to a child, the higher the chances of Gender Assurances being passed on. These may seem like small differences when children are young, but once they reach the age of 3 and Gender Awareness comes into place, a lot of questions will be asked and we have to avoid answering conforming words, such as, "That's alright, she's still young." or "It does not matter what you wear." The appropriate answer should be, "You're right, that's for boys and you're a girl. Sorry about that. I made a mistake." Then, lead her towards the gender-appropriate choice.

Gender-appropriate

Gender-appropriate behaviour is the norm – what is generally accepted and unaccepted behaviour based on culture. Gender-appropriate items are the items a person ought to be related with, based on their gender. For example, a dress for a girl, but definitely not for a boy. This is the result we should be striving for in developing Gender Confidence.

Gender Confidence

Gender Confidence is how confident a person is in who they are and what they are –– the original gender they were born with. Gender Confidence is displayed not just when they acknowledge their original gender as their gender, behave and dress appropriately, but are happy, comfortable and confident about it.