Favoritism

Question:

Grandparents practicing favoritism towards kids and grandkids — to run away or get close anyway? What if one is a step-dad?

Answer:

Wow. That’s a lot to take in. 

I don’t know if a step dad is considered a parent and therefore if the ‘honor your parents’ applies to him. Hmmm.. food for thought. My guess is that he is technically not, so I wouldn’t be so worried? That being said, I do think it is great if we can all be a happy family. At least for the honoring your mom part. And I guess honoring him is how you honor your mom? 

It’s really sad to experience favoritism in your family and more sad to be the less favored. However, how your mom treats your younger siblings have many reasons. It’s always easy for parents to be mushy with the youngest but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you more. Different people express love to different people differently. That doesn’t measure love accurately at all. Love carefully hidden is worse than open rebuke. Proverbs 27:5

Personally, I would have two reactions myself so I can’t really say. It really depends on the children’s ages as well.

If the kids are really young and won’t notice anything, and therefore won’t be affected, I’d say, go for it and spend time anyway. It’s not like we can do so forever. One day your mom will be gone. Treasure all the time you have left.

On the other hand, when things get too awkward and if the kids are old enough to notice the difference, and if they truly practice favoritism, I’d say take them as far away as possible. But then again, these are grandparents and not parents. The effect on them would not be so great as parents themselves were practicing favoritism. So nothing much to worry about. I would only worry if it gets out of hand, and your kids are emotionally affected, or could get emotionally affected.

The third scenario is when your kids are much older, like upper primary or teens. I guess by this age, if you raised them well enough and they are mature enough to handle it, they will be able to. So it depends on the kids.

Whatever it is, go to God because He knows the future and only He will be able to assess your future situation to advice you to get close or run away. There is no fixed answer. Only God knows their hearts.

Love and Blessings.