First off, Children Ministry is not a baby sitting service. It is a children’s church, and therefore do not need to be the same time as the service. I prefer my kids to be in the church with the congregation.
Having said that, younger children need to be nursed. And personally I prefer to nurse in a separate room myself. A lot of churches’ nurseries are still incompatible unless it is a mega church. But if you go to a mega church for the sake of their facilities and programs, you will feel very dry, and will feel like there is no point going to church either.
The teenagers could help out with the younger kids if you have a large family. A youth group is not the answer. If anything, can only make things worse. A lot of youth who go to a youth service at the same time as the main service never fit in again once they are too old for the youth group. And they drop out of church.
If I were you, I’ll put all my kids in the main hall throughout the service. That’s where the real anointing and presence of God is and that’s what they need. I usually take a playmat and toys that don’t make noise, along with me, and food that don’t make a mess, like biscuits. Once there is food in their mouth, they can’t really make much noise. Once a kid reaches 6, they can learn to take notes. Each have their own note books. At 6, they can tick off certain words that is mentioned regularly by the preacher in that particular sermon. They can also draw a picture of what they think the preacher is preaching about. Some take notes using emoticons on the handphone using the Notes App. I refused to go to Children’s Ministry myself since I was 10. I wanted to take notes like the adults. I wanted the Word of God that had more substance and revelation than just Bible Stories I’ve already heard over and over again, in different forms.
Children who are involved in inter generational worship know the presence of God and their lives are very different. Soak them in. Programs is just doing church, to be honest. They need to see and feel the power and presence of God.
Here’s a suggestion: ask the pastor to give you the notes to the sermon ahead of time so you can prep some activities and worksheets for the kids based on that sermon. Some can even watch a Superbook with headphones on during the sermon if it is sermon related.
So have them all with you in the main hall at all times, and if you need to nurse, have the 14 year old take charge. If necessary, give the 14 year old authority to reward them with points on a point chart that they can use after the service to “buy things” like snacks or screen time. They get points for behavior, including being quiet the whole time and for taking down excellent notes, etc.
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