Skip to main content

Friend about to marry Mr Wrong

Q: I don't think he is treating her as well as a man should. I don't see him helping around. I felt she has to do everything. Should I advice her against it? Wedding dates are set! I think I'm close enough to share my thoughts to her as she appointed me as a bridesmaid. Others advised I should speak up because God wants me to say something to her.


A: Is she a Christian? Honestly, it doesn't matter what you think, or what she thinks, even. It all comes down to what God thinks. If she is a Christian, then ask her what God has said about it and what made her say yes -- what are the evidence that this is God's will -- just ask her to share her story -- it's not an interrogation, just find out a little bit more and see what she has to say. For all you know, there's nothing to be worried about. And if there is, it's not your place to say anything as a friend, unfortunately.


I've had friends who thought I was getting married too soon and tried to stop me but I knew it was God's will and went ahead. Our friendships only gets worse if these friends are still insistent I break it off even after I have explained myself and expressed my determination to go ahead. 


If you phrase your concerns more as questions, like "is he treating you well" and "does he help around" and "what do you think has he done to deserve his place", rather than expressing your views head on, you might get away with it. But I honestly doubt there would be a difference at this point. It's really more to give you peace of mind than to stop anything from happening if that makes sense.


Also, it's funny how people say the Lord is asking you to speak up -- did He really tell you to say anything?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Couple Disagreements -- To Move or Stay Put?

It's not up to either of you nor is it our place to advice you. You both need to pray and seek the Lord for guidance on this. The Lord has led us as a family from one place to another. There is a time to move and there is a time to stay put. Ask the Lord for guidance. Also, submission to your husband and saving your marriage is more important than money. How to Pray: Both of you, go to a room, whether alone or together, close your eyes, ask God to give you guidance on whether to move or stay, and ask Him for a book, chapter and verse. Then wait for it with eyes closed. Wait for the book, chapter number and verse number. Read the whole chapter anyway, including the key verse.  It's hard the first few times but you'll get it over time, do it everyday as devotion. Get a notebook or Google Drive to write down what God is saying. Then match your verse and understanding with his. After a few days, you kind of know where this is going.

Will I really go to Heaven?

Not a crazy question at all, and I am glad you reached out because it is so so important that you have assurance of salvation. It seems to me that what is lacking here is an intimate relationship with the Lord because if you are constantly in a two-way communication, there will be no room for this sort of fear or anxiety because He calls you by name and you hear His voice everyday in your devotion and prayers. Do you hear His voice? If not, find time to read the Bible and ask Him questions or share your heart before reading so that when He replies you on the same topic, you know He is speaking and you are hearing correctly. The Holy Spirit speaks all the time -- we just need to listen. Worshipping God is like the water you drink, prayer like the air you breathe and the Word like food you eat.  We pray without ceasing -- prayer is talking to God. We talk to Him about anything and everything from the moment we wake up till the moment we lay our heads and even throughout the night. Pr...

The Angry Father

Hungry people are angry people. That’s why it’s so important to make it a point to have fruit time an hour before meals for two reasons: one, to keep anger at bay, and secondly, for enzymes.  It’s quite obvious who is at fault. And mama bear being mama bear would definitely defend the kids and put dad in his place. Been there, done that. It’s only natural.  But what is the right thing to do as a mom and wife? Lashing back will only ruin what’s left of that marriage. If the dad complies, calling the dad out privately is the best answer there is. Try to calmly explain the situation to him and encourage him to apologize for his bad behavior. If he doesn’t comply, just keep quiet or even remind your kids of the importance of speeding up when daddy gives an instruction…… and teach them to communicate better— that should acknowledge that she has heard him and are working on obeying and request extra time if necessary. Then, when daddy is not around, remind them again that they are l...