Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from April, 2025

Angry Spouse

Lack of sleep is one of the causes. Another is hunger. I know it's simple but if we pay attention to these two things, it is surprising how different a human can be. Try to have meals on the table an hour earlier i.e. 11am lunch 5pm tea. Because I realized that my hubby gets angry just before lunch and just before tea. And snack at 10am and fruit breaks at 3pm helps a ton. Just pay attention to the times he gets angry -- usually before meals. My husband also had a snoring issue. He had chronic sleep apnea but improved so much when he's on the cpap. He can last without the CPAP if I turn him to face down on the pillow until he can breathe normally while he sleeps.

Eldest changing as they reach preteen

My eldest daughter is gentle but the two younger ones are very different. She has been screaming a lot nowadays. She's 11. I have to tell her to stop screaming. She can't tolerate the other two and she doesn't know how to handle them. Some kids, especially boys (not my daughter) are into sarcasm at this age. If that's yours, perhaps pay attention to the shows and books he has been into and their tone.  And if he says something hurtful, do get back to him on that and let him know it hurts and tell him not to say things like that to other people because of how hurtful it can be. Communication is key. And openness -- if you can be open to him, he can be open to you  Also, if it's not the books or vids he has been into, perhaps the friends.. I homeschool my kids so I can be more aware of their influences..

How to be a helpful Spouse to a Preacher

If he needs a Slide presentation done, that would help a great deal. I can give you a few pointers on how to make slides for a sermon. It's a ministry in itself -- you'll need the Holy Spirit to show you which pictures to put and what to highlight, which fonts to use, make sure it's large and clear and in point form, not paragraph form, etc Also giving him time off to be alone to prep is great. And enough sleep for him. Even reminders for when he has a sermon coming up

Keeping a bunch of kids occupied in summer

Slip n Slide, water channels with aqua ducts using PVC for boat race, etc. Make a cubby, build a pond, build a dry creek, a fairy garden (or miniature garden), build a mud kitchen, build an underground green house, etc. Build a willow playhouse but for squash or some other vegetable creeper so they can play in it and have vegetables to harvest at the same time.

How to Fast the Right Way

First of all, motive. Fast to draw close to Him, and don't let anyone know that you're fasting. Matthew 6:16-18  For a Full Fast: Just tell them that you're taking some time off will be booked on those dates and can't be contacted during those periods.  Turn your phone on silent mode. It's basically only for emergencies, or else, don't answer at all. Lock yourself in your room. Matthew 6:6-7 Drink lots of water if you're going on a full fast. If you're living with others, only go out of the room to get more water. What you actually do: No work, no play, just fast and pray. And worship and Word and talk to Him and draw close to Him. And write down what He says. Do your devotion.

The End of Denominations

You'd probably want to start with church history and how it started from the book of Acts and went through the dark ages and came out of it. And how some moved on to discover more lost truths and some remained. Think of it like a river, and some choose to stay, creating pools while others move on.. My dad used to teach me and I learned it from him in Bible School.. he's really deep and quick and to be honest, after listening to him for the last 3 decades or so, I still can't grasp all of it. But he always draws it as a river, with pools branching out of it. And then with unreadable handwriting all over that. I guess you can start off with Generations and some Kevin Swanson books on church history but I haven't read any of them yet. I just think that they should be rather complete. As for the last few denominations.. i.e. Apostolic and Prophetic, you wouldn't be able to find any books, I don't think. Because after Apostolic and Prophetic would be Kingdom Ideology...

Juggling between family business and home

There has to be a balance. Taking care of the business is taking care of your husband but you do not have to choose between one or the other. Your job doesn't depict who you are. Remain humble inside especially towards your husband. It is a challenge but with God's grace, you can do this. He needs you. Being feminine has nothing to do with the outer appearance but the heart. And nobody can take that away from you. This verse is for you: Jeremiah 31:22 For the Lord has created a new thing in the earth— A woman shall encompass a man.” Encompass means to protect. I married my employee. My husband was working for me but God called us into a marriage. While I prayed for His will, God told me that if there should be any arguments that arise, it is my fault because of my pride. Because I was older (4 years), I had a master's degree while he only had a diploma (I have a doctorate now), I ran a company (he was my employee), I was better in English (it was his second language), I was...

Toxic Love?

I've read so many posts about women in a "toxic marriage". Christian women trying to fight for their rights in a "toxic marriage" can be very judgemental and not full of love but full of unforgiveness and anger. Women feel they have rights and we do. But sometimes you need to choose between your rights and your marriage, and no, you can't always have both but if I have to choose between fighting for my rights and fighting for my marriage, I'll pick fighting for my marriage because I gain nothing fighting for my rights. The world teaches us to fight for our rights but we are not of the world. It may sound shocking to the world, but there is no honor in fighting for your rights. And definitely no reward. If you dig deeper, it's about pride. And I don't want to fight for pride. I want to fight for something worth more -- love. Love is worth fighting for, not rights. Choose love. Words like "toxic marriage" and "toxic family" are ...

Cookie Cutter Christian Marriage Idealism

A lot of single women have too much idealism on their dream guy -- godly, loving, etc. With expectations come disappointments. Not everyone's marriage starts off with a guy all out for God. Some take years to cultivate this. I wish young Christian ladies will shake off that fantasy mindset and learn to settle for anything that God has put on their plate. When several women get the love of their lives, they make it a cookie cutter for all the other single Christian women. It's not always like that. Sometimes the guy that God has for you is not the ideal spiritual guy you have been waiting for because for some people, you have to pray him into it and it takes years and yet, somehow, this is the guy God has for you. I'm not God. And I don't ask why.

A non-biblical reference that God is real

My mom saw Jesus twice. One was when she was pregnant. Jesus came through the window and took her by the hand and led her out through the window and showed her an answer to a decision she had to make. The second time was when she was praying in her prayer room behind locked doors. Jesus came and took her by the hand. She saw her body still kneeling on the floor. He brought her through the door and walked her to where the kids slept and told her what will happen to each one. Then walked her to where the church workers were doing their devotions in their pyjamas and told her who would be leaving and why. And then brought her back to her prayer room and her spirit entered her body again. When she went for breakfast with the church workers, they were wearing the exact same outfits so she knew it wasn't a vision but she actually went there in the Spirit. After praying for the food, all refused to eat but just stared at her. When she asked why, one of them said, "Pastor Lily, we wil...

Lifeless Mom

Doing it for your kids makes you the hero. Don't consider it a small thing. Its a huge sacrifice and you are greatly honored for that. You made the right choice. They need you now more than ever and it's all worth it. You're pouring into lives. Sometimes, a mom is like a seed. And the seed has to die for new growth. But one day, you will realize that the time you have with them is so fleeting. So don't focus on what you are not but what you have. A few years left with them. Treasure it and you will blossom these last few years with them. If I were you, I would take them off school and homeschool them and try nature schooling or homesteading and just enjoy these precious moments. They don't last for long but they bring such healing.