I had a dream this morning. A nightmare. I dreamt that my whole life was coming to an end in terms of ministry, family and finance. I dreamt that I screwed up with my kids so badly that everything was literally falling apart - the whole house, and that it went viral so much so that everyone who ever meant anything to us in the ministry told us off, that I was unfit as a pastor, as a teacher and as a mother. And I screwed up so badly that even my parents’ ministry was jeapordized and they were denied their right as pastors because of me. Even they were lectured at the end of it by the nicest people in the ministries we knew of: the fathers of the people who were the closest to us, whom we respected the most.
But then, when I woke up and felt terrible about it, and was trying to get over how real it all was, I heard God speak to me:
Don’t ever apologize:
1. For something you did not do.
2. For who you are.
3. To the devil.
4. For doing the right thing.
Every part in that dream, I did my best, and it was not good enough. But that was unreal and the devil just wanted to push me down. He gave me that dream to try to destroy me by destroying my confidence.
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