The Learned

No, I'm not planning to make teens pay for anything unless they buy their own car. Which I won't encourage, unless it's cash. I don't encourage getting a loan for a car. The first loan should always be for a house. They can use the family car 🚗 and no, they won't be paying anything for it. Contrary to many, the first thing I want to teach my kids is how to make a profit, not how to earn. And I want to teach them to invest before I teach them to save.

Q: Many of our guests are non-Christians. Should we have worship songs playing? How did you do yours? A: We had a worship leader lead the worship. I picked out the songs -- I chose full on worship songs but the adoration type: Jesus Beautiful Saviour, You are Beautiful Beyond Description, Magnificent and I Adore. Many non-Christians who have never stepped foot in a church was expecting a Catholic ceremony like those in the movies. They loved it and proudly said it was their first time in a church or at a Christian wedding and thank you so much for the invite and that they really enjoyed it.

Contrary to modern day Christianity, when it comes to God's will for a life partner, I strongly suggest some serious fasting, not just from coffee like a lot of youngsters do nowadays but from food, electronics, social life and going out. Just take time off for a week to lock yourself in the room and only go out of the room to drink water or to the toilet. I would seriously pray about this because it's a lifelong decision and the second most important decision in our lives (the first being our salvation). In fact, during that time off, I even suggest not taking to each other until that period of fasting is over so as not to be too bias or affected emotionally. If God says no, breaking up is most difficult. My sister did this and realized it was not God's will and had to break up with a guy she was with for 7 years and it was awful.

There is only one perfect timing for marriage - God's timing. When my husband and I fasted and prayed about it separately and knew God's will was for us to be together, we then prayed about when it was His will for us to get married. God speaks. It is the couple's responsibility towards God to hear His timing for their marriage, ideally separately, and then compare notes. It doesn't matter how long they have been dating, or whether they are above 21 or whether they are working or whether they have a decent income. All that matters is what God says. Faith and obedience is our response. Listen carefully.

Q: Help! Pushy mother in law! Hubby suggests to go no contact!  Do I go no-contact? A: Relationships are important. Especially biological ones. Contrary to modern belief, I don't cut people off just because they have different values and are pushy. She is, his mother, after all, regardless of what he thinks. So she has different values and tries to push it on him. Which is her right, regardless of his age. That being said, he still has a choice to reject her values and reject her. It is obvious he doesn't bother one bit. But. Cutting her off is a decision that belongs to you both. And you do not HAVE TO cut her off. If she wants to, she will. Let her do that, not you. If anything, let it be clear to her that you may have different values and what they are (in detail) but also make it clear that you will not cut her off -- that's not on you and you have no desire to make that call. She can either choose to respect your decision (does not mean she has to agree) or she can cho...

You don't need to keep it in. You're not keeping it in for anyone. They need the real you.  And grief has different seasons. If it turns around, they will get lash out at you for being insensitive. Just be yourself.  Nobody needs you to be 'strong'. They need you to help them express their grief and they need someone to grieve together with them.