The Learned

Question:  Help. Hubby picks on me and says I need to lose weight. He doesn't compliment me or pay any attention to me. He wants a vec but I want more kids. What should I do? Answer:  Don't focus on the negative. Focus on the positive. If you want to pick on all the reasons why you should break up, there will be plenty. Start counting on the reasons to keep this marriage. There will be equally much if not more. Marriage is hard work. From both sides. And more than not, you will always feel like you're on the side that does all the work.  The Bible says that our body does not belong to us. And being on the heavy side is not good for health either. There's nothing to lose losing weight but weight.  Don't take it personally. To cut the long story short, you're trying to say that your hubby is not into you. I'm not saying he is. You could be right. But that's because marriage takes work. When you plant a seed, it grows. But you need to water it. Work means y...

Husband, you need to lower yourself, in humility. You need to accept that she is, at the moment, more spiritually inclined and she has something you don't, yet. But you will. So remain in this humility and lower yourself until that happens. If not, it will cause frustration in your marriage. Wife, raise your husband to where you are. Raise him in prayer. This does not mean that he cannot lead. He is still the spiritual authority. He may not teach you the Bible, but he holds the key. And you have to submit, and let him unlock the door to your home. One day, he will keep up. But within the time that God has appointed for him. Do not try to speed things up. It will only cause disappointment.

My eldest came back into my room today after her nightime prayer. She was worried about her calling being totally different from what she has set her heart to be or do. Of course, I told her the usual -- "Don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself." I was tired and sleepy, and so was she. I just really needed her to go to her bed at this point and not get worked up about the future. And yes, it was good advice, especially if it's got her this worked up. I, for one, did not worry about my future. For some reason, I just seem to be really ambitious all the time. From wanting to start my own kindergarten at nine, to wanting to be a millionaire missionary at ten, to wanting to build a campus when I was thirteen, it just kept getting bigger and better, and always more or less on the same line. It was like I saw it coming. And yes, it may seem like different things to the naked eye, but it really was the same thing. We talked about the differences betwe...

Communication is key here. He needs to hear how you feel and what you expect moving forward. I'm sure you have tried your best to let him know all that but remind him about your requirements. Then again, Jesus said forgive up to 70 x 7. This applies to marriages as well. I wanted to walk out a couple of times and prayed about it but God gave me a book, chapter and verse and this is what I got. Not once.  Fight for your marriage, not your rights. You have every right to walk out but you have every right to stay.

Perhaps try YouTube classes. We don't spend any money on co-ops or classes. Are there any free community classes in your area or at the library? What we did was run free classes ourselves. I run some at my home and some at the local library -- business classes, etc. so my kids have other kids to have classes with.  Also, I babysit once a week and make sure it doesn't disrupt our schedule much. But what really brought in income for us was to sell furniture that we got for free. Sometimes, it doesn't need to be large furniture -- just items that people put out on the street and free items on Facebook marketplace

If there's one thing I know about kids rooms, it all boils down to making memories, not the actual outcome. No matter how nice something is, if the preparations were filled with arguments, it would bring bad memories. And no matter how terrible something looks, if it was made with love, it would bring good memories.