Skip to main content

Partner addicted to p***

Q: 

What should I do? He is the father of my child. Some say I should leave because he has repeatedly done this.


A:

Nobody is perfect. Leaving is the easy way out. Fight for your marriage and don't give in to the devil and don't give his soul up to the devil. Pray and enter into warfare for your family, your marriage and your husband.


Q:

We are living together, made a covenant together but not legally married because we are still saving up for a wedding. So I can't fight for a marriage - others say there is no marriage to fight for because we are not legally married.


A:

A covenant before God still requires witnesses for accountability. If you've been saving for a marriage, I propose to use the little you have now and make the most with it. At the moment, it's better than no wedding, if you get what I mean. Plus, it still takes time to make arrangements - 6 months or so. Scale down on quantity, more on quality. Only invite people who matter, instead of pleasing the crowd that doesn't. Elope if you have to. But don't save on the spiritual aspect. It is not just a covenant between two people but three -- it is a covenant made with God so make God in the Center of it, not yourselves.


It seems you've made a covenant with this man privately and want to honour that. You have also set your heart on a wedding. I honor this decision of yours because he is the father of your child and what God has put together, let no man separate. Start off with a Christian engagement ceremony. That will get things going. 


An engagement is not a proposal. It is a promise to marry, and it is before God. It is a time to devote yourselves to spiritual preparation towards a marriage. During that time, get baptized and walk away from old sins and habits. It is a season for transformation as you prepare to die to self, being crucified on the altar on your wedding day, just as Christ gave His life for the church, the man ought to give his life for his wife.


In the Jewish culture, the man doesn't even see his fiance until the wedding day, and during that time, he is mentored by his father who will decide when he is ready to be married. You don't have to do that but I strongly suggest he is mentored spiritually by a pastor he respects who cares about him as a father to him. Understand the root source of sexual immorality and how it links to fatherlessness. If you can fix this issue, it can change everything. Also, break every generational curse -- his own father probably had the same issues with porn addiction and sexual immorality.


This cancel culture intends to delete spouses like they can be replaced easily. Well, this man can't be deleted -- if left alone, he will still be addicted to porn and find someone else to disappoint and hurt. It is going to be a never ending cycle of betrayal and defeat. What he needs is Jesus. This will bring about a spiritual transformation that will bring healing, not just to this man but this family, yes, this is now a family. You heard that right. If people want to disagree about this being a marriage, they are legally right and probably spiritually right but this is a family, and there is no doubt about that. If you can't fight for your marriage, you can at least fight for your family.


I bless you and your husband-to-be to get legally married. An issue of the heart can always be fixed. Addiction can always be defeated. There is always hope for repentance and restoration in Jesus, up to 70x7, which means infinitely. But a broken family is the root cause of more sins, more generational curses and future issues. Your child growing up fatherless is going to continue this cycle of sexual immorality. I say it ends here and it ends now.


Save this man, save this marriage and save this family.



----


There are three things you need to overcome:


1. The root of the issue: fatherlessness

- this addiction stems from a history of fatherlessness and he needs healing in this area

- perhaps spiritual fathers he looks up to, to mentor him


2. Addiction

- even with spiritual fathers in his life, he needs the Holy Spirit to overcome his addiction that has already taken root


3. Break Generational Curses

- his own father could have been sexually immoral

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Couple Disagreements -- To Move or Stay Put?

It's not up to either of you nor is it our place to advice you. You both need to pray and seek the Lord for guidance on this. The Lord has led us as a family from one place to another. There is a time to move and there is a time to stay put. Ask the Lord for guidance. Also, submission to your husband and saving your marriage is more important than money. How to Pray: Both of you, go to a room, whether alone or together, close your eyes, ask God to give you guidance on whether to move or stay, and ask Him for a book, chapter and verse. Then wait for it with eyes closed. Wait for the book, chapter number and verse number. Read the whole chapter anyway, including the key verse.  It's hard the first few times but you'll get it over time, do it everyday as devotion. Get a notebook or Google Drive to write down what God is saying. Then match your verse and understanding with his. After a few days, you kind of know where this is going.
Post a Comment
Read more

Will I really go to Heaven?

Not a crazy question at all, and I am glad you reached out because it is so so important that you have assurance of salvation. It seems to me that what is lacking here is an intimate relationship with the Lord because if you are constantly in a two-way communication, there will be no room for this sort of fear or anxiety because He calls you by name and you hear His voice everyday in your devotion and prayers. Do you hear His voice? If not, find time to read the Bible and ask Him questions or share your heart before reading so that when He replies you on the same topic, you know He is speaking and you are hearing correctly. The Holy Spirit speaks all the time -- we just need to listen. Worshipping God is like the water you drink, prayer like the air you breathe and the Word like food you eat.  We pray without ceasing -- prayer is talking to God. We talk to Him about anything and everything from the moment we wake up till the moment we lay our heads and even throughout the night. Pr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lighting the Night

Someone brought up an interesting concept of Halloween that I am still pondering on.. Her post: "The Night of Halloween" 'Twas the night of Halloween And all through the town All the Christians were hiding  There were none to be found Their porch lights were off Their doors tightly locked And they simply ignored it If a child came and knocked They claimed to be standing  Against evil that night Yet their decision to hide Had caused Satan no fright It was more like a gift  That they let him run free Instead of shining out Jesus For the whole world to see The children still came home With bags full of treats  Yet none could have said  That his soul had been reached For on that night that was darkest The light hid away Allowing old Satan  To have his own way And as I end this I wonder What would Jesus have done? When confronted with darkness  Would he too have run? Don't dare to believe it My Christ would not fear For when Satan came calling  He woul...
Post a Comment
Read more