The Learned

When someone loses a spouse, they tend to fill up that emptiness with stuff. That's what happens when people leave and there's loneliness -- be it children growing up and leaving the nest or someone passing away. Hogging is an unconscious action.  The only way to get rid of it is to fill the house with people again. Do it slowly, one room at a time, have family move in again, whether it is just to visit or to live permanently. Don't leave her alone but give her a reason to declutter and make space for family.

It is completely fine for the worship team or worship leader to bring toddlers on the stage. Sometimes we are so religious that we become just like the Pharisees -- empty white-washed tombs. The church is God's family. And in the family, toddlers are allowed to be with mom anywhere they go in the Father's house. In fact, their angels see the face of God. Matthew 18:10 10 “Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.

If your husband is emotionally abusive, and you have given him a chance before and he blew it, you may have a right to leave but remember -- you have every right to stay. If he is repentant and wants to save this marriage, give it one last chance. And get him to do what you dictate -- counselling, no more yelling, etc. Just give it one last shot -- to save your marriage. Luke 13:6-9 The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree 6 He also spoke this parable: “A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. 7 Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ 8 But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it. 9 And if it bears fruit, well. But if not, after that you can cut it down.’ ” If you give up now, you have everything to lose. Give it one last shot and if it works...

When I was 14, God sent a vision to my mom of me dead in her arms. She prayed and went into warfare on my behalf. About an hour later, I run straight into a moving car which didn't stop at the pedestrian crossing (could have been the other way around -- the car could have run into me if I was a split second too early). My hands pressed onto the glass window as it sped past, I was shocked and paused for a while but continued running immediately after that. I was fine. But it all happened right in front of my mom.

When I was 13, I told God I wanted to see His face, and I prayed and prayed for about an hour before I randomly opened the Bible to the verse: Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

Sleepover with grandparents at 18 months so Mom and Dad can go on a camping trip is not ok with me. Try to think outside the box so the little boy can tag along. I trust my parents 100% but this is not a trust issue. This will cause separation anxiety because he is too young for this. Trauma like this will make future sleepovers a lot worse, even if he is old enough for it. Try to come up with a solution that you're both comfortable with, like a family day trip or something. Sleepover with grandparents are ok but not at 18 months unless it's an emergency. I wouldn't unless my kids are school aged.