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Pre-marital Fears

Some men propose and then sound like they want nothing to do with the wedding, starts withdrawing and then talk about work a lot. As his fiance, you panic, thinking he is didn't really want to get married at all, and sees this as a red flag. 


Chill. It's not like that at all.


Perhaps talk to him about this but know one thing -- men often feel defeated when they feel like there is something they should be doing but unable to do it. In this case, perhaps he did not expect the cost of wedding to be this high. I am guessing he just wanted to marry you because he loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you but did not expect weddings to cost this much and is embarrassed to tell you or did not want to disappoint you. Instead of being frank with you, he tries to hint and starts emphasizing about work and earning more, saying stuff like "can't take a day off". But you're so excited that you didn't get the drift... He's probably hoping you could see it from his point of view. He probably feels like he has bitten off more than he can chew and the entire weight is on him and you're not seeing that side of it when he is hoping you'll be his soulmate and can see right through him.


What's really important in a wedding is to go through wedding challenges like finance as a couple. Let him know a few things:


1. You understand the budget and will not blow it (you do have a budget, don't you?)


2. The costs are not entirely on him and you will bear the load 


3. You're willing to play down on the wedding to save for your future together if necessary


4. The wedding is not more important than him

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